Ever since I was a small child, I never felt like I quite fit in. Have you ever felt that way? I felt such a strong connection to earth, people, and art. I could just sit and stare at trees, watch the leaves move in the wind; make time connecting with new kids in class, so they wouldn’t feel left out; and lose hours painting and drawing in my room. I didn’t know many 5 year olds like that. I loved being alone or hanging out with my younger brother Bill. I am very introspective, feel more at ease communicating in writing and being with people one on one versus being in the spotlight.
In my teen and young adult life I felt the “need” to conform. What did that mean to me at the time? Being more left-brain, trying to understand math and finances, be outgoing, vocal, and omg, just not who I’m inclined to be. Not my natural talents. I still have bouts of that little naysayer telling me to be a certain way. Thankfully over the years, I have become more comfortable in my own skin. There’s definitely still room to grow, and that little naysayer probably always will there to some degree. If anyone can relate, I wanted to share some books I’m so grateful for. They might help you too. Susan Cain’s Quiet, and Daniel Pink’s A Whole New Mind. Quiet is about the power of introverts (that’s me!) and Daniel Pink’s book is about the power of the creative, right-brained (that’s me too!).
The last thing I wanted to write about was the external naysayers in your life. They could be your family, friends, co-workers, or even your spouse/partner. My external world (parents, teachers, priests, nuns) had a big affect on me, like most children. Those are caregivers and people who I looked up to. What I’ve learned is that everyone sees you through their lens, their struggles, their values, their fears, etc. Do you see what I mean? People are not always going to understand your journey and that’s alright. Their feedback is probably based on their comfort level not yours. Hear them and understand where they’re coming from. I used to fight it, and now I just listen. I reflect on it, and then I do my thing, which may be acting upon their feedback or not. Only I will know what to do, and I want to leave you with the notion that you will too. You’ll know what to do. Minimize the external noise of the naysayers. Listen to yourself. If you’re stuck or need a hand, reach out!
